By Jeanne Ivy
Background
Kinship, family relationships and similar cultural issues
must be studied within the contexts of locally held ideas, economic and political arenas
and overlapping forms of identity. In order to understand Middle Eastern family relations
it is important not to limit family ties only to “blood” or “tribal”
relatives. Kinship can also include neighbors, friends, and significant others not related
by blood. In many instances, the Turkish people displayed a strong feeling of kinship and
brotherhood with those of us from the opposite side of the globe. A common, shared
experience seemed enough to invoke an offer of “brotherhood,” despite our lack
of genetic connections. While it is true that Middle Easterners often use strong genetic
ties to bind bureaucratic and governmental relationships (seemingly to make such
relationship more reliable), we need to remember that “kinship” in Turkey may
extend beyond the narrower definitions from other cultures. Other impacting background
factors include patrilineal descent and patrilocal residence, in which the family lives at
the home of the husband. Current familial and developmental issues and conflicts must also
be viewed through the historical contexts of that particular culture. In Turkey, today
there seems to be a deep undercurrent of traditional (Moslem) vs. modern (secular) clash,
especially with regard to gender roles and relationships among kin.
Introduction
The population of Turkey is approximately 63 million with a growth rate
of 1.7%. However, the population is bimodal with regard to age. There are over 20 million
persons who are under the age of fifteen. At least one-half of all the Turkish people are
either younger than age 15 or older than age 65. The life expectancy is around 67 years.
While extended families remain very important (especially in the rural
areas where 40% of the population lives), the overall trend throughout the Middle East is
toward separate housing for each nuclear family. This trend raises the wife’s status
significantly, compared to when she lived in the same house with the husband’s
extended family. The husband is still the head of the household and has the final say.
Legal reforms in Turkey and some other Middle Eastern countries have benefited the status
of women. For example, Turkey has led the region in secular reforms that prohibited
polygamy, enacted minimum ages for marriage, and limited a husband’s unrestricted
ability to divorce. Divorce is uncommon and not easy to obtain in Turkey. A judge must be
absolutely convinced that the marriage cannot succeed, and life for divorced women remains
generally more difficult than for divorced men. Many of the gender conflicts/issues now
observed in Turkey parallel those experienced in the United States several years ago. Some
of the current struggles also are rooted in the clash between religious views and secular
trends, not unlike the fundamentalist/feminist battles in America. With the Turkish
government pushing secularization and Westernization, the familiar social
conservative/traditional right vs. liberal left struggle is revisited.
A major reason for the gender conflicts in Turkey (like have been seen
in the U.S. only earlier) is that the view of women in Islam is problematic despite claims
that Islam accepts gender equality. Although Turkish law protects women in some ways more
than the U.S., i.e., equal pay for equal work, equal educational opportunities, guaranteed
six months maternity leave, in real practice, true equality is not the case. For example,
adultery was at one time a criminal offense and punishable, but men got a much lighter
sentence than women and had to be caught in the act in his own home at least three times.
Now the prison sentence has been reduced to two years, requires proof, and is equal for
men and women. Today there is an amendment being discussed that would change this to a
civil action.
Marriage practices and rituals are also changing from traditional to
more modern. In a traditional union, the father says whom the daughter will marry and may
arrange it. The family of the bride provides the groom’s wedding clothing and vice
versa. The bride’s family pays for most expenses like in a more traditional American
wedding. During the wedding ceremony, the gifts from guests are announced. Gifts of gold
are common. A red ribbon is worn around the waist of the bride to indicate she is a
virgin. A henna party is held at the bride’s home the night before the wedding to
bring good luck. The veiled bride sits in the middle of a circle of female relatives and
friends with henna held tightly in her closed fist. It is a very emotional time with
candles and songs. The mother of the groom tries to give the bride gifts of gold jewelry
or trinkets until the bride cannot resist and opens her closed hand.
Very traditional couples will go to live with the husband’s family. The newest bride is not allowed to eat with the family until another bride joins the family. She is not supposed to speak directly to her father-in-law for at three years outside of her husband’s or mother-in-law’s presence. While the husband rules over his Moslem wife, women do speak their minds privately. In fact, there is certainly “power behind the veil” as women learn how to get what they want or need with behind-the-scenes tactics. In the less traditional relationships, marriages are planned, paid for, and conducted by the couple with varying degrees of involvement by the couple’s families. The average age for a bride is 17-18 in more traditional areas; in the cities and among educated women, the average age is mid-twenties.
Children are highly valued in Turkey. Preschoolers are almost always
cared for in the home by the mother and female relatives. Family units are strong, and
children defer to the authority of parents (reminiscent of American children in past
generations). Children seem to be treated gently, but firmly. Many children help the
family income by selling to tourists or providing services such as “tour
guides”.
Moslem boys are circumcised between ages 8-10 in a ritual celebration
that is a rite of passage into manhood. The boys wear a special white satin suit and
spangled hat and red satin sash emblazoned with the words Masallah, “What wonders God
has willed!” The boy is paraded through the streets on a carriage. After the
circumcision ceremony, he will rest in bed and receive guests and gifts in honor of his
new status.
Teenagers were observed “hanging out” with friends like
commonly seen in other parts of the industrialized world. The strict Moslem girls begin
veiling their heads and wearing the body covering coat in public once reaching puberty.
Many females, however, dress in modern Westernized clothing including short skirts and
sleeveless tops. Young adolescents behaved similar to their age peers worldwide. They did
seem to be more relaxed, friendly, and innocent than American teens of the 1990’s.
Treatment of the elderly in Turkey is also somewhat reminiscent of
earlier times in America. There are generally no nursing or retirement homes, since older
Turks are cared for almost exclusively by their families. Urbanization is causing problems
in this area, but with a relatively lower life expectancy (@68years), the biggest
challenges are yet to come as nuclear families become the norm. Required retirement age is
younger than in the U.S. (age 52 and 55 for women and men), but that will go up to age 65
by the year 2000. Now at retirement, the government social welfare system gives a lump sum
to allow retirees to purchase a small house or vehicle. Thereafter, a small pension is
received much like Social Security. With a huge number of young people to pay the taxes in
future years; the system will probably work, but there is likely to be difficulty down the
road when that mass of young Turks reaches retirement age in approximately forty years.
Resources
Ahmed, Leila. Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate. New Haven:
Yale University Press, 1992.
Akbar, Ahmet S. Discovering Islam: Making Sense of Muslim History and Society. Wiesbada:
Autoherrssowitz, 1998, 1995.
Andrews, Peter. Ethnic Groups in the Republic of Turkey. Wiesbaden: Dr. Ludwig Reichert
Velag, 1989.
Balkir, Canan and Williams, Allan. Turkey and Europe. Pinter Publishers Ltd., Convent
Garden, London, 1993.
Gilsenan, Michael. Recognizing Islam. Croom Helm, 1984.
Isil, Celimli, Graduate Student, Department of Sociology, METU, Ankara, Turkey.
Dr. Binnaz Toprak, Professor, Department of Political Sciences and International
Relations, Bogazici University, Istanbul, Turkey.
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